The Realization
by Zieyune
Summary: When a mysterious package is mailed to Percy's apartment, guess what's inside? Yes, all 10 of the Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus books for them to read. M for language. Contains character death. Insert obligatory "this isn't like any of the other PJO/HOO MST's"
1. Chapter 1

**May we all enjoy this MST.**

"Ding dong, ding dong, open the damn door, blasted resident!" the doorbell screamed.

"Where's the snooze button on that thing…" Percy dozed off. He had come back to his apartment two hours ago from a very loud party and dropped on his bed like a stone.

"Ding dong, resident, you really are a lazy dropout. You better thank your wife Annabeth for getting that package for you!"

"I'm not a lazy dropout, I'm just really, really tired…"

"Well good riddance! Even going to parties till 4:20 am! How irresponsible!" it huffed.

"Shut up, doorbell, just do your job and stay quiet until someone rings you!" Annabeth snarled. Sooner or later Percy would have to get rid of it. Well, if he could.

Percy and Annabeth bought this apartment a year ago, hoping for a cheap living space to enjoy life together. Someone offered them to rent this apartment room for an unbelievable price. Shortly after, they found out why. The obnoxious doorbell refused any attempts at uninstallation, breaking brand new tools and even shattering a hammerhead. Gods were called in to break the magical charm protecting the sentient doorbell but to no avail. There was no choice but to live with the ringer's comments every day.

"Okay, Annabeth, I'm up. What's the package?" Percy rubbed his eyes, getting rid of the crumbs the sandman left.

"I haven't checked yet. Let's open it up together," she smiled.

And so, like husband and wife, they cut open the large cardboard box with the blonde's knife to reveal ten books.

"Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief, Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters, Percy Jackson and the Titan's Curse… They're all about you. Well, since we have nothing better to do, let's call up our friends and read it together," Annabeth said.

_BANG_

Suddenly, as sudden as a flashbang can get, a bright light enveloped the couple's vision. When the spots faded away, they were in, guess what, that throne room on Olympus.

"So, we hear you have books you'd like to read as a paahhhaaattayyyy…" Hades drawled on and on and on and on for the theory of eternity.

"Yes, my daughter, let's read. We've even transported your friends here," Athena gestured to a dazed Grover, Thalia, and... it.

"God damn, you bitches be like creeping the shit outta me," the floating doorbell with a halo and mini flapping angel wings complained.

"No! We're still haunted everywhere we go!" wailed Percy.

Athena's eyes turned a fiery red, quite contrasting from her stormy gray. Can't her eyes reflect a happy mood for once?

"I thought the doorbell was your friend. Treat it with respect, or else face my wrath," the wisdom goddess' eyes flared.

"Mhm bae, she be right for once. Now hurry up, ya tard, get to the first page!"

"Gods, you're all impatient. Fine, I'll begin," huffed Annabeth, "**Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood...**"**  
**

* * *

After at least 100 chapters of MST'ing the Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus series, enduring Percy's breakdowns on what he should've done to prevent the deaths and/or turnings of other campers, and other misadventures, there still was one big question.

"Rick Riordan managed to spy on us for the past six years without being detected and without our consent. He even managed to educate the world of the mist and the monsters that hide within it. Who is he? Friend, or foe?" Annabeth muttered.

"Best to not take any chances," Zeus boomed, "He's a breach to security. Even worse, he's a blasted mortal! Meeting adjourned, nobody speak of this reading to anyone!"

The next day, headlines were plastered with the mysterious circumstances of the death of New York Times bestseller, Rick Riordan. It is a mystery to this day.

* * *

**ok nevermind crackfics r not me 4te**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ahahahaha many have thought that this was a oneshot well its more like a collection.**

**WARNING: ****_There is steamy lemon here dont like dont_ read**

* * *

"Fucking fuck fuck fucking shit ass nigga bitch fuck!" the Chime rang.

Ah. The blissful month of damn silence from the doorbell has ended. Annabeth sighed. Ever since the death of the sensational author of the Percy Jackson series, the doorbell had been mysteriously quiet. Well, not that the two had missed the constant, profanity laden comments. Please.

"I'm home!" Percy called, stepping into the hallway and taking off his shoes and socks. He took a glance at the doorbell and sighed, "Looks like our month of peace and quiet is gone. To be honest, I sort of expected it."

"Percy?" Annabeth asked, getting up from the sofa, "Did you get the stuff we needed?"

"Sure did," Percy said, taking out the contents of the reusable shopping bag. A jar of coconut oil thumped on the counter, along with a lemon. He took a knife from one of the racks of utensils and placed the citrus on a wooden cutting board.

Annabeth looked skeptically at the lemon. Why was it here anyway? Nothing was in her plans to cook fish or sour tarts tonight. Percy snapped her out of her thoughts.

"You ready?" he asked, cutting the lemon into wedges with a knife. He then put it in a steamer on the stove and let the lemony fragrance fill the apartment.

"Yeah, I am. I'm ready for us to become parents, but what's the lemon for?"

"I dunno, one of the clerks at the store winked at me and said steaming lemons was good for 'getting in the mood'," Percy replied.

And so, the couple strode into the bedroom, carrying the jar of coconut oils, and closed the door. After a few minutes, moans and groans could be heard. The apartment complex lacked sufficient soundproofing, and their neighbors, Jason and Piper, after hearing the noise, promptly left their living space and vomited on the ground.

The Doorbell heard the actions as well. It chuckled, envisioning dark fantasies of its past life.

"Finally, they be doin' it. It's been too fucking long, the ass fucker bitches," it stated.

* * *

And so, after an hour or two in the bedroom, Percy and Annabeth stumbled out of the door, (clothed, mind you) panting, and collapsed to the ground. A dark figure picked them up, threw them over its shoulder like ragdolls, and left. It strode out of the front door, down the stairs outside, and vanished as suddenly as it ever came.

Fellow friends Jason, Piper, Nico, and Thalia noticed the couple missing after neither texts nor calls were returned for a few days and searched through the room. There was no trace of them anywhere, but a steamy lemon was left on the stove, long burned out and blacked and crisped, and an open jar of coconut oil. Nothing here, might as well leave the job to _di immortales_ up in Olympus. As they walked out the entrance, something caught Jason's eye. He had visited the missing two before, normally for a night of partying, and always knew the obnoxious doorbell was there, reminding them of its presence. This time, though, it was gone.

Yes, gone, after even attempts by Hades to remove it, for Gods' sake, it easily vanished. What was happening? Nobody could explain.

* * *

**like i would ever write a sex scene that's ma content  
****parodying percy jackson tropes since 2014  
****you wanted a steamy lemon you got it**

**peace out - theta cheese/hystonic/binary shock**


End file.
